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The
Dark-Sucker Theory
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For years, it has been believed that electric bulbs emit light, but recent
information has proven otherwise. Electric bulbs don't emit light; they suck
dark. Thus, we call these bulbs Dark-Suckers.
The Dark-Sucker Theory and the existence of dark-suckers prove that dark has
mass and is heavier than light.
First, the basis of the Dark-Sucker Theory is that electric bulbs suck dark. For
example, take the Dark-Sucker in the room you are in. There is much less dark
right next to it than there is elsewhere. The larger the Dark-Sucker, the
greater its capacity to suck dark. Dark-Suckers in the parking lot have a much
greater capacity to suck dark than the ones in this room.
As it is with all things, Dark-Suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of
dark, they can no longer suck. This is proven by the dark spot on a full
Dark-Sucker.
A candle is a primitive Dark-Sucker. A new candle has a white wick. You can see
that after the first use, the wick turns black, representing all the dark that
has been sucked into it. If you put a pencil next to the wick of an operating
candle, it will turn black. This is because it got in the way of the dark
flowing into the candle. One of the disadvantages of these primitive
Dark-Suckers is their limited range.
There are also portable Dark-Suckers. In these, the bulbs can't handle all the
dark by themselves and must be aided by a Dark Storage Unit. When the Dark
Storage Unit is full, it must be either emptied or replaced before the portable
Dark-Sucker can operate again.
Dark has mass. When dark goes into a Dark-Sucker, friction from the mass
generates heat. Thus, it is not wise to touch an operating Dark-Sucker. Candles
present a special problem as the mass must travel into a solid wick instead of
through clear glass. This generates a great amount of heat and therefore it's
not wise to touch an operating candle-type Dark-Sucker.
Also, dark is heavier than light. If you were to swim just below the surface of
the lake, you would see a lot of light. If you were to slowly swim deeper and
deeper, you would notice it getting darker and darker. When you get really deep,
you would be in total darkness. This is because the heavier dark sinks to the
bottom of the lake and the lighter light floats at the top. This is why it is
called light.
Finally, we must prove that dark is faster than light. If you were to stand in a
lit room in front of a closed, dark closet, and slowly opened the closet door,
you would see the light slowly enter the closet. But since dark is so fast, you
would not be able to see the dark leave the closet.
Next time you see what is called an electric bulb, remember that it is really a
Dark-Sucker.
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